Mk ultra k not my D ic lc (m,o)

The Lion King Parodies

1. "I Just Can't Wait to Be Kingpin"

(Parody of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from The Lion King)

I'm gonna be a mighty boss,

So enemies beware!

But every time the badges flash,

We're halfway out the lair!

I'm brushing up on hustling,

I'm working on my rep—

But when the sirens start to wail,

We're tripping over each other to step!

No one saying, "Stand your ground!"

When the cops are rolling through—

No one daring, "Hold your turf!"

We're all like, "Yes, sir, right away, thank you!"

It's our cartel coronation,

But here's the funniest thing:

We talk a big, bad game—

But we bend over for every badge and bling!

Oh, I just can't wait to be Kingpin!

(But only if the coast is clear and there's not a badge in sight…)

2. "Cycle of Abuse"

(Parody of "Circle of Life" from The Lion King)

From the moment we're hurt

And the pain goes unspoken,

We learn how to hide

Every scar, every token.

It's the fear, it's the shame,

It's the silence that binds us—

And the wounds that remain

Are the chains that confine us.

It's the cycle of abuse,

And it spins through the ages,

From the words and the blows

To the anger that rages.

Till we break, till we heal,

Till we find a solution—

We're all caught in the wheel

Of this sad revolution.

It's the cycle,

The cycle of abuse.

3. "Be Prepared (Parody)"

(Parody of "Be Prepared" from The Lion King)

It's time you face the music for what you've done,

I've got it all recorded—your lies on the run.

I've already won, though I've lost faith in you,

Every goddamn buddy who never came through.

But don't expect me to turn into your beast,

I'm ready to fight, but I won't be unleashed.

I'm standing my ground with truth in my hand,

So be prepared—for justice to land.

No more silence, no more fear,

The reckoning's coming, and it's crystal clear.

You thought you'd break me, but I'm still here—

Be prepared, abusers, your end is near.

4. "Haiku from ma TA (Cartels Only Fight Over Bore-ri-tos!)"

(Parody of "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King)

Haiku from ma TA,

I'm gonna school you—

On why cartels only fight over bore-ri-tos!

It's not about drama,

Or flashy bravado,

It's all about turf,

That's the only motto!

You think it's for glory,

Or riches untold,

But it's just about borders—

That's how the story's sold.

So here's my haiku,

From your teaching assistant:

Cartels crave turf wars,

Borders are the only cause—

Bore-ri-tos, persistent!

Haiku from ma TA,

Lesson's done, now you know—

Why cartels only fight

Over bore-ri-tos!

5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (I Sure the Heck Hope Not)"

(Parody of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from The Lion King)

Can you feel the love tonight?

I sure the heck hope not,

'Cause all I see is jealousy,

And drama that you've brought.

Your men keep staring at my house,

But girl, don't act so shocked—

You're the ones who sold it first,

Then wonder why they flock.

You b**** and moan about the looks,

Like it's some big surprise,

But maybe if you stopped the deal,

You'd cut down on these eyes.

So quit complaining, own your part,

Stop acting so confused—

You sell it out, then cry about

The men you've all abused.

That ain't love, that ain't respect,

It's just a twisted game—

So save your tears, save your breath,

And don't put me to shame.